The Cynics Corner

Star Trek: Voyager


by David E. Sluss

10 February 2001

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: The usual Klingon Klaptrap, saddled with silly D-stories.


EUNUCHS OF THE WEEK: Voyager has gelded the Borg, the Hirogen, Species 8472 and just about everyone else over the years, and seemed intent on doing that to the Klingons here. First we have some serious revisionism in these duels to the non-death apparently written in some obscure section of the Klingon Klaptrap Kode. Given everything we've seen about Klingons over the years, how likely does that seem? That sure would have put a damper on the Worf-Duras fight all those years ago, wouldn't it ("I have fallen three times; you are the victor, Son of Mogh")? On the other hand, it was kind of amusing to think that dulling the blade of a Bat'elth would make it non-lethal. Dull or not, those things are quite heavy, and could have crushed Curly's head like the rotten cantaloupe it is. And how honorable and glorious was the assault on Voyager's bridge? Using phasers on stun? It's not as if they could hit anything anyway (even the large target Curly was able to duck two shots taken from 10 iso-feet away), but give me a break.

CONTRIVANCE OF THE WEEK: This new Klingon disease certainly behaved with plot-convenient properties. First, despite Starfleet's extensive Klingon database, and decades of (mostly) friendly dealings with the Klingons, this disease was totally unknown to the Doctor? Oh, and it lies dormant and immune to the transporter filters until it Suddenly Activates. So, is there any reason why the fellow who came down with it couldn't have been run through the transporter again and had the active pathogen filtered out? For that matter, is there any reason that, once the Doctor isolated it, the transporters couldn't have been used to filter out the dormant material?

CONTRIVANCE OF THE WEEK RUNNER-UP: It was fortunate that Voyager found a suitable home for the Klingons so quickly. But given Voyager's sloppiness with such things in the past, it could very well be that the Klingons were dropped off in the middle of some Surly Forehead Alien space, where they'll be easy pickings...

CLICHE OF THE WEEK: Klingon Klaptrap notwithstanding, the real claptrap this week was the supposed B-stories, the worst of which was the eminently predictable "odd couple" bunking of Neelix and Tuvok, a situation which even by sitcom standards is pure drivel. The Harry Hard-on B-story wasn't much better, but seeing him weasel out of his quandary by being roughed up by Neelix suited the character well...

CONTINUITY OF THE WEEK: It's not much, but Neelix's Klingon drinking song has been heard before, somewhere on DS9, I think. I recognized some of the grunts. Oddly, of all of Voyager's past episodes, only the execrable "The Disease" gets a passing nod, in Larry's obtaining medical permission to screw a Klingon. That did seem a little odd, though; after all these years, would Klingons still be considered "medically alien," so that such permission would be needed?

HIGH-ROLLER OF THE WEEK: The Klingon Kaptain sure got lucky. Setting the ship to self-destruct in thirty seconds seemed a bit chancy, when he couldn't have known that Voyager's 100-years-newer transporters could in fact rescue everyone. Heck, he didn't even know Torres' baby was female, and thus had at least a chance of matching up to the scrolls, until a bit later; the child's gender certainly wasn't mentioned in his initial meeting with Torres, nor even in Janeway's ready room, when he first claimed the child was the Kulmbacher.

STARFLEET INSECURITY OF THE WEEK: Voyager is running neck-and-neck with Andromeda in the "Least Secure Starship" category of the Cy Awards this year. The Klingons, unfamiliar with technology less than a hundred years old, managed lock out the transporters, beam out almost the entire crew, and get into the weapons locker in a few minutes; of course Larry "Sink the Ship" Kim and his little tutorial didn't help matters any. However, I did notice that Tuvok and the Boys trotted to the scene of the crime this time, instead of walking...

Previous: "Repentance"
Next: "The Void"
NEXT WEEK: Anomalies and Surly Forehead Aliens threaten the ship. Heck, that could be the capsule summary of the series...



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This review is copyright 2001 David E. Sluss
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